We find several self improvement programmes being conducted from time to time which teach us to gain confidence and learn to be assertive and decisive in vital matters which concern us. My friend happened to attend a few of these paying a hefty fees as she intended to follow faithfully what she learnt in her workshops. By nature she is a very sociable and friendly person who strikes instant friendship with whom so ever she comes across which sometimes proves to be at her own cost and time. She is one who cannot bring herself to say No when asked for help or a favour or anything for that matter.
Strangely in course of the past couple of years her attitude and behavior has undergone a drastic change for she became quite a recluse distancing herself even from her close friends and relatives.
One day I bucked up courage to ask her the reason for her transformation and her reply astounded me as she said, ‘You know, after attending all those programmes, I thought I must put into practice all that the resource persons taught us. Now I regret for what I have done.’
Well, why don’t you be more explicit? I tried to probe.
For instance, We participants were taught not to say Yes all the time and say No sometimes, i.e. if the situation warranted, she said.
Good. I think that applies especially to someone like you, I concurred.
You don’t know what it cost me as saying No to everything has become a habit now, she lamented. Earlier I couldnot bring myself to say No but now I cannot bring myself to say Yes and use my discretion according to the situation and see what happened. I have become a loner in the process, she confessed her voice breaking down.
n.meera raghavendra rao