KANK or KINK 10/01/2011

What is that  DVD  you brought from the library, I asked my niece who came from the U.S.  to spend  some time with us.

Aunty, it is the movie   ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’. I missed seeing it  when it was screened , she said   as though she  missed something very important. Have you seen it? she asked.

No, I said.

You don’t know what you have missed. All my friends  thought it was just awesome, she raved.

We settled  for a three hour treat  and I noticed the youngster watching the movie  in rapt attention.

I heaved a sigh of relief when the movie  came to an end.

Aunty, don’t you think the movie is just fantastic, she beamed.

Since I wanted to reserve my comments I said,  Why don’t you tell me why you think the movie is just fantastic ? I said.

Well aunty, because I  feel  everything about the movie, the  locales, the actors and the songs are just superb, she said going into raptures about her favourite hero and heroine’s acting.

What else, I said.

The costumes are so trendy. Don’t you think Preity Zinta looks so  hep  in all those dresses? she asked.

Yes, she does, I agreed.

And Shahrukh Khan is sooo sweet, I felt so happy for him when Rani Mukherjee breaks away from her marriage and joins the man she loves, she said.

And what else did you like about the movie, I prompted, fearing what she would say next.

Well, Abhishek Bachhan is good but he is no match for Rani because the couple has nothing in common, she said, sounding very concerned.

I could see the discussion was getting really serious.

You haven’t said anything about the story, I observed.

To hell with the story, does it matter when there are such top actors in the movie and such lovely locales? said the youngster.

Don’t you think the movie tends to send wrong signals about marriage and morals because Rani Mukherjee doesn’t give herself any time to understand her husband and work at her marriage? I reasoned.

Aunty, you are too old fashioned in your thinking. You know what the advertising guru who belongs to  Bombay said in an interview  recently ?  He said women should empower themselves and do what they like to please themselves. They should choose their own partners and if they are not happy in their marriage, they shouldn’t hesitate to call it off. He cited himself as an example , having divorced two wives and married for the third time..

I saw the futility of convincing her about marriage and morals. If a movie like KANK is made another one titled KINK would soon follow I thought, to corrupt and confuse young minds about marriage and morals.


N Meera Raghavendra Rao



4 thoughts on “KANK or KINK 10/01/2011

  1. Prof.V.N.K.Kumar

    Western marriage customs are based on the concept of democracy taken to the extreme, and gives a lot of premium to individual happiness whereas our Hindu marriage customs are geared towards dyadic happiness.Although most people there marry with some kind of religious ceremony and take an oath of eternal allegiance & loyalty, they also think of divorce as soon as they find some incompatibility.

    This is nothing but escapism. Instead of trying to resolve the conjugal conflicts, they would like to take the path of least resistance and get out of the relationship as soon as possible.

    Reasons for divorce could be as ludicrous as the snoring of the partner beyond 80 decibels. There are cures for this, but it is an excuse they are searching for. If it was not snoring, it would have been some other trivial offence by the partner.

    I am so relieved that my spouse believes in our Hindu customs and accepts me with my positives & negatives as a package deal.

  2. Professor V Raghavan

    With their more-materialistic and individualistic attitudes, the Westerners feel that it is better to separate than undergo a life time of suffering due to incompatibility. What amazes me is the present-day Indian morals: You do your thing, keeping the marriage in tact! In his book 50-50 marriage: Return to Intimacy, Psychiatrist Nagaswami calls this a marriage of convenience and bluntly says that, if you believe in a marriage of convenience, this book is not for you. His discussion of the broad meaning of intimacy is worth reading.

    1. The point I wished to make with reference to Rani Mukherjee was that she doesn’t give enough time to understand her husband which leads to their separation.Imagine what she would have done if she hadn’t met Sharukh Khan who was himself in a similar situation with an ambitious wife who was more successful in her career.Then perhaps there wouldn’t have been a story at all for the movie.Interestingly I received a mail from someone in the U.S.who thought the movie does send a wrong message to vulnerable minds. I also happened to read 50 50 marriage , a very sensible book worth reading especially by the newly marrieds.

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